DAY 5 - CYCLE 15 - SEMESTER 2

Today in class, we worked on constructing solid thesis statements and supporting claims. Group 2 found itself struggling a bit with the problem of elevating mere evidence to the status of actual claim, suggesting it was the cause of something when really it was just an indication of something. What do I mean by this? Well, consider the following statements:

• It is raining outside...
• The ground is wet.
• The atmosphere is so saturated it can no longer hold moisture.

Now, of the above statements, which one should get the word "because" in front of it and which one should get "as evidenced by the fact that" in front of it? The answer is pretty obvious. When you put "because" in front mere evidence, you are suggesting a faulty relationship. You're also setting yourself up for plot review.

As you know, a good chunk of your argument's progression is based on your commentary sentences. If you're using evidence as a claim, you can't write a good commentary sentence.

Consider the following:

BAD CLAIM

CLAIM: Winston wants to keep a journal because he buys a special one in Mr. Charrington's shop.

EVIDENCE: He goes to Mr. Charrington's in the prole district and buys for himself an old leather journal with rich creamy paper.

COMMENTARY SENTENCE: Remember that the purpose of a commentary sentence is to explain how the evidence shows your claim. Here's the claim: He buys a journal. Here's the evidence: He buys a journal. You can see the problem.

GOOD CLAIM
CLAIM: Winston wants to keep a journal because he believes that keeping a record of history is the best way to preserve humanity.
EVIDENCE: He goes to Mr. Charrington's in the prole district and buys for himself an old leather journal with rich creamy paper, in which he carefully records his feelings, thoughts and actions..
COMMENTARY SENTENCE: The fact that Winston cherishes the journal and writes his personal history in it in spite of the real risk to his life indicates that its contents are precious to him, his understanding of himself, and his connection to others--indeed, humanity itself.

Practice identifying differences here: Handout from today's classes (used in groups 4 and 6 and inspired by group 2's discussion) may be found here.

All of your claims, not just your thesis, need to be arguable, and their logic must be sound, Make sure your claims are firmly rooted in the "because" side of the equation and not "as evidenced by" side. How can you practice? Take a look at ANY of the class notes from Huck Finn or 1984 and try responding to the discussion questions with a thesis and claims. Very often, you'll have GREAT luck simply by starting out with identifying characters' values. Characters act in certain ways because they value certain ideas and things over other ideas and things. Identify those ideas and things and you're establishing yourself firmly in "because" territory.

When you have a good thesis, tweak your topic sentences so that they, too, are arguable.

For tomorrow, please bring questions you would like to have answered. I will have no lesson plan--you lead the show. There is also an optional review at 4:30 in Kohl. Again, no lesson plan--you lead the show there, too.