CYCLE 12 - DAY 2 - SEMESTER 1

Today, you received 4 handouts:
1. A double sided overview of the 12-sentence paragraph. Two of the sections discussed the following quotation sandwich.

• Fiver is very angry at Hazel. "'Don't be so foolish'" (Adams 247). He thinks Hazel is being an idiot.

This is a HORRIBLE quotation sandwich. Why?

1. The statement "Fiver is very angry at Hazel" is not an effective claim; it is not arguable or focused, and it does not answer how or why.
2. The quote is simply plopped in without any introduction. We do not know who is speaking, to whom, or in what context.
3. The commentary sentence does not explain the evidence's connection to any sort of thesis. It simply summarizes what the evidence is.
4. It's boring; the word choice is uninteresting, and the claim and commentary sentences are dull, simple declarative sentences. Ho hum.

Avoid writing horrible quotation sandwiches. The hardest part to master is the commentary sentence, which should connect specifics from the evidence to the specifics of the thesis (e.g. If you had a thesis that talked about the essential nature of Fiver's honesty and had used the same quote as appears above, you might have a commentary sentence like this: Fiver's use of the word "foolish" clearly indicates his willingness to speak truth to power with a candor that gives Hazel pause; Fiver's criticism sows the seeds of doubt in his chief's mind, and this doubt invariably leads to better decision making.) Practice writing commentary sentences, as they are the chief workhorses of your 12-sentence paragraph.

Practice writing several 12-sentence paragraphs between now and the exam, using that sheet to both guide and assess your work.

The other three sheets all relate to sentence diagramming, and the homework is to finish the double-sided practice sheet. See me if you need additional copies. Unfortunately, the most useful of them cannot be put on the wikispace because much of it is handwritten.